#day17
*diagnosed in 2016. Resharing my story to help spread awareness.
Let's talk about the CAREGIVER!
Often times the one who is going through cancer is the one who gets most of the attention and care. What many don't realize is that the caregiver is also going through it. In my case my husband, my caregiver picked up all of the pieces that fell when I could not carry them any longer.
On this particular day he surprised me on his very first visit to see me while getting chemo. It was not that he did not want to be there but simply that he was carrying the load of our little ones while holding working so that I could focus on myself. He had not seen me in this element until this day. It was quite emotional and super meaningful for us both!
Being the caregiver meant that he had to give me space to recover on the days after chemo. He did EVERYTHING! He had to watch me suffer. He had to sometimes imagine life without me. He had to trust that I was in good hands. He had to cook, clean, carpool the kids around, drive me to dr. appointments and surgeries, he had to endure my highs and lows. He had to care for me after surgeries. He also had to be strong when I was not. He had to encourage me and give me words of hope when mine was fading. He had very little rest. He had to put his needs aside for the sake of mine and our family. He was incredible.
BUT he was often alone in the journey. Not because others were not there, but often because the caregiver is not the center of the attention. He had to mourn on his own so that he could protect my heart from feeling and seeing his true fears and sadness. He had to serve and often not be served. He had his own hidden exhaustion but had to push through.
He covered me in prayer daily. I would often wake up with him standing over me with his arms stretched out pleading to God for His healing touch over my body.
The caregiver is a role that he played well. And although he may have felt alone or unseen, I saw it. I knew it. I felt it. I loved him for it.
When the storm was over, I wasn't the only one who needed restored. My caregiver did as well. That is really the moment that you realize that your hearts are one and that the pain that I suffered he suffered as well.
In this journey the one thing we never did was lose each other. We actually found one another. We found a deeper love. A deeper commitment. A greater covenant. We valued one another more than we could've ever imagined. Because.. sometimes it takes facing life and death to truly appreciate one another.
I love and thank my caregiver, my husband, the keeper of his vows.. in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
I love you Barnabas Agwuocha!
#chemotherapy
#survivor
#caregiver
#husband
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