If you have been following along, you will see that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and each day I am sharing a little piece of my story with breast cancer. If you have missed any days, please go back and read from the beginning. If you want an easy way to follow along, I am also posting these on my blog which is linked in my profile.
At this point in the story, I had not revealed to anyone my greatest fear. We were at the lake for the 4th of July. The evening of the 4th, I could no longer keep this news to myself. I pulled my mom and sister in law into a room and began to cry. Half tears of fear and the other half were tears of release. The release of being alone in the panic. I needed to talk. I proceeded to show them what I had seen in the bathroom mirror. It was an obvious finding that did not look normal. Of course they told me that I needed to tell my husband and I needed to call my doctor ASAP. I continued to keep this between myself and them until everyone went to bed. That late evening, I spoke to my husband and told him somberly that I had something to tell him. He of course was super alarmed by the tone of my voice. I was terrified. I could barely utter the words but I had to. Of course we cried and he held me and then immediately told me to call my doctors first thing in the morning. To this day if I ever have something to tell him, he panics because it always brings him back to this moment.
The next morning I proceed to drive alone down to the lake so that I could make some phone calls without anyone around me. I needed that space to think and process. As I was driving down I saw my Aunt Mary. She had no idea why I was down there but I will never forget that she uttered the words to me.. that one day I would be the matriarch of the family. And all I could think of when she said that was, no actually I won't. I could only think that my days were numbered. Those words echoed into my heart and I clung to them because they hit me in such an impactful way.
I sat at the lake and pondered on who I should call. I honestly had no idea who my point of contact should be. I decided to first call the midwives at Magee where I had, had Toben. They offered a mammogram but it wasn't for like a week. I wasn't sure I could handle waiting that long. I then contacted my primary care doctor and at first they said that they couldn't get me in anytime soon. I remember jotting down on my little piece of paper .. first available. Honestly I didn't care who I went to. I knew that whoever it would be, would be the one that could get me in first. Shortly after my PCP called and said they would make room for me immediately. I drove back to Pittsburgh that same day and the process began.
More to come tomorrow!
And a special tribute to my Aunt Mary. She was so meaningful in my life and really cared well for me during my cancer journey. She has since graduated to glory from ALS. Love you Aunt Mary 
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