Diagnosed at the age of 35 with Triple Positive Invasive Breast Cancer of the Right Breast. Mother of 4 young children. Wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher.
My life took a drastic turn in the blink of an eye. I faced life and death. I looked it in the eye. I saw it.
Many changes occurred.
I experienced pain and heartache. I experienced the love of complete strangers and the loneliness that also comes with this. I often would be asked how I was doing and could barely give an honest answer without complete tears overcoming me.
I had an army that surrounded me. Those whom I had not asked to be a part of the fight but put themselves into place because of the goodness of their hearts.
I saw some stand in the background, maybe out of fear or because they didn't quite know what to say or do.
I heard suggestions, words of encouragement, cancer fighting recipes, all of the best supplements that I should take, who the best doctors and hospitals were, all of the books I should read and much more. I saw every good intention and appreciated each and every one of them. Even if it became too much. I knew you were showing me love the best you knew how.
I was shattered and was left to pick up the pieces. No one told me what to expect. I had to trust the process. I had to do my best research. Ask the tough questions. Surround myself with community. Surrender to God. I had to forgive those who had forsaken me. I had to humble myself because being the giver is much easier than being on the receiving end. I was not good at that.
I had to keep my head in the game. I couldn't give up. I needed to be patient. I wanted my normal back.
Life was not the same, nor would it ever be the same again.
But, I made it through. God gave me every ounce of what I needed and He saw me through. He promised me that He would fight for me and He surely did. He never failed me. He never forgot about me. He never left me. He always knew what I needed.
In the midst of my complete brokenness, He was enough.
As I enter into the retelling of my story of my final round of intense chemotherapy within the next few days, I pause to reflect on how it started, how I managed and how I pulled through.
You will pull through!! Trust the process. Lean into those around you that are wanting to rally behind you. Surrender your fears. Take the deep breath. Take it one day at a time.
There can be purpose in our pain. 
The old me was fading away. My hair was not the same, my skin was not the same, my face was not the same, my weight was not the same, my energy was not the same heck even my heart was not the same.
But I had HOPE and that HOPE saw me through every step of the way!
In so many ways I was full. I was full of love because you showed me love.
Please know that your actions meant more than you knew. 
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