Once you get the dreaded phone call that tells you that your biopsy results are malignant, you almost stand in a state of shock. My friend Carlie Tracy was in town visiting me. We had just dropped our kiddos off to VBS and we knew that I was waiting on this phone call. The phone rang and I ran to my room alone to answer. The results were read to me. I held it together until the call was over. Carlie came into my room and I crumbled. It's Cancer! Having to then go back to being mom and pretend everything is ok and then knowing I needed to tell my husband .. I just couldn't face it. It was too painful. Telling this news to others was even more painful. Coincidentally the timing of this news fell right in line with me hosting a big birthday party for Amara. Imagine having all of the family and people you love most in your home at the same time as facing this huge news. I couldn't even tell them. I needed to be ready and I just wanted things to be as "normal" as possible for as long as I could hold out.
It was a new reality that I could not understand. How?? Why?? Cancer why did you have to choose ME?
My family did not have any history of breast cancer. Therefore I never in a million years dreamt of ever having to deal with cancer. I had genetic test completed that confirmed that this was not genetic.. thank goodness! With three girls, that was the best news.
Everything from this point forward was in fast motion, full speed ahead. The doctors appointments, the scans, the tests, all of it was all moving at lightening speed.
When you find out you have breast cancer, but you don't know yet what stage it is, your mind begins to tell you all of the reasons why it has spread to every distant part of your body.
The not knowing, is really such a hard place to be. I had to do a PET scan, CT scan, and a full body bone scan. What we learned from these was that one, my cancer had not spread and two, I had Hashimoto's thyroid autoimmune disease. Other than that we had a clear path forward for the most part.
Next up was to meet my team. In the breast cancer world, you do not have just one cancer doctor. This I did not know as well. I had a few. It always starts with the pathology results going to your surgical oncologist. Then you meet with them. They go over your results and then explain the process. They set you up with a nurse navigator and in my case even placed me with integrative help through an amazing organization. (More on that to come)
Tomorrow I will introduce you to my team and what that process looked like from the start. It was truly just the beginning of my journey.
Thank you for reading along. Again I will be posting everyday through the month of October to give you a glimpse of my story. I post on my blog these exact posts so that you have an easy way of catching up or a link to share with someone who may want to learn from my experience. That link is in my bio under Intro and About Our Family.
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