This is the Beginning of Your Journey!

Hey there friends and family!  Summer is underway with lots of fun to be had by all.  Lots of fun until two weeks ago!!! I was away at my family cottage for the 4th of July when I had a rare moment to take a shower.  Yes rare because with 4 children to care for, my own personal care has been at the bottom of the list. I then noticed that my right breast looked off.  The shape, size, texture...everything just looked off. My heart sank as I had that pit in my stomach that gave me the sense that this was not good.  I held onto that worry for a complete day without sharing with anyone.  I wanted to make sure *via google* that this indeed looked like cancer.  A day later I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.  I had to tell someone.  I grabbed my sister in law and took her into a bedroom and began to tell her that something was wrong with me.  I had contained it for a whole day so by this point I had so much emotion to release. I cried and cried and cried.  Knowing we were all on vacation I didn't really want to tell anyone else for fear of ruining their time. I kept looking at my husband and seeing the joy on his face as he laughed and played with the children.  I looked at him thinking that all of this look upon his face would most certainly change once my news was shared with him.  So I waited until the evening after the children were in bed and shared the news with him.  That moment was also so tough.  He held me so tight that night.

I decided to leave the next day and work on figuring out who to call.  I really had no idea who to go to.  I landed on talking to my PCP first, which was the right thing to do.  They then sent me for a mammogram and then an ultrasound.  The lumps in my breast were tagged as suspicious and would then need biopsied.  Two days later I am getting my biopsy, which wasn't too horrible but still traumatic nonetheless! I couldn't believe this was happening to me!  I vividly remember on my way to the appointment I asked an older security guard at the hospital if he could kindly direct me how to get to the breast center.  He proceeded to point in a direction and said, "This is the beginning of your journey." Gulp!  How did he know! I mean, I'm sure he was just saying my walk was a far distance but in reality this really was the beginning of my journey and I knew it!

The moment after my biopsy.
I needed to capture the beginning of this journey.

So I'm known to have a little too much on my plate all at once! Ha! The same weekend as this biopsy I had a wedding cake to make, friends coming into town for a visit, a 12th wedding anniversary, oh and my daughters 6th birthday party! Sometimes distractions are good!

So here I am a week later with a diagnosis of Triple Positive Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  Triple Positive means that it tested positive for 1) Her2/Nue 2)Estrogen 3) Progesterone.  So basically it is hormone and gene related but not necessarily genetically related as we do not have any history of breast cancer in our family. It is aggressive.

This week I go in for and MRI to make sure I don't have cancer anywhere else and then begin the many many doctor appointments to follow.

Through this storm the Lord has given me a verse to hold onto.  I was doing my Bible Study when this verse just stood out!

Exodus 14:13-14English Standard Version (ESV)

13 And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

I read that verse and just knew that was for me!  He will fight for me! Fear not!  Yes! Yes! and Yes! A few days later my husband got a friend request from a stranger on Facebook.  He went to his page to see if he knew the guy, which he didn't, but lo and behold this verse was that mans most recent status update.  Barnabas called me and told me this and we knew from the depths of our heart that this was confirmation of His promise to me! 

Friends as I face a new journey, a challenge, a hardship I will hold onto these promises!  I will try to keep you all updated on what is going on as much as I can.  Many of you have asked how you can help.  As we figure that out I will do my best to share those needs. I love you all and thank you for your prayers, love and encouragement!

Amanda